Gestational Diabetes

Well, you guessed it...I was diagnosed the day I turned 28 weeks with gestational diabetes...waaahhhh. I'm slowly getting over the shock of it. I'm feeling all the emotions and hoping I can get through this 3rd trimester ok. So, I have to wait for my insurance company to approve me seeing a specialist and once I get that, then make an appt with them. I'll be getting my meter to check my blood levels. I have to eat totally different now. Which is okay but not having as much sugar is going to kill me lol. I'll update more once I have more info and a meal plan. I've just been doing a lot of research online and I hear a lot of babies are born early (36-39 weeks) because babies usually tend to be bigger with GD. Which I thought would happen anyways to be honest. I'll have to go to the doctor's office more often now to get non stress tests done twice a week and make sure baby is okay. Which I'm kind of happy about because I am getting more attention towards the baby now.

I have my normal doc appt scheduled for next Thursday. At least it's only for a little bit and not the whole pregnancy, thank god

I didn't realize how great the 2nd trimester was until now... :(

Well, until next time...I will update soon.

*Here is a pic of me at 27 weeks. Before I found out I had GD.

24 weeks!

I can't believe I haven't updated in quite awhile! Sorry about that! It's been busy and I'm super glad about it! It's kind of crazy that I'm 24 weeks already. Since the last time I updated you guys, I had my anatomy scan done in November and everything is going great! Baby girl is growing right on track and my placenta had moved up away from my cervix! So excited about that and just one less thing to worry about. We have came up with a name for our baby girl and it's.... Mckenna Leanne!!! I fell in love with the name Mckenna awhile ago mostly from the movie Somewhere in Time (her name in the movie is Elise McKenna). And Leanne comes from my Mom's middle name Helene and Hubs Mom's middle name Ann and put them together to create Leanne! 

 With the holidays right here, time has been flying. I've already registered for our childbirth class in February. We have a 3D ultrasound scheduled for Valentines Day and by then, I will be 32 weeks and hoping we get some good images! My Mom and I are getting the ideas together for my baby shower in February. Hubs and I will be getting the nursery painted next month. It's pretty awesome but we are getting a FREE crib, changing table and dresser from my Hubs cousin! It's in good shape and white which is what we wanted anyways so super stoked about that and again, one less thing to worry about. We are doing a purple gray theme and let me tell you.... PURPLE stuff is hard to find for a girls room! It's ridiculous! It's all pink! Super annoying lol. We also got our registry stuff almost done. 

We are just so ready for her to be here! She has been kicking and punching away every day and man is my lower back already killing me! It's crazy. But I am so enjoying it. Love my bump, love all the kicks and couldn't be happier right now. Especially since I'm not puking anymore!! LOL. 

Well, until next time! xoxo

Megan J

P.S. Here's some pics. :)

Baby girl at 18 weeks anatomy scan

 24 weeks bump!

Our Christmas card picture for 2016 - 20 week bump

It's a....

GIRL!! We are so excited and can't decide on a name lol. We went to one of those ultrasound places on 10/16 with both of our parents and it was amazing! You could totally tell that it was a girl too. We are starting to get pretty excited and looking at different nurseries and colors...this is crazy. My next appt is on 11/1 with my OB and I should be getting my 2nd set of bloodwork done for the genetic work up. Then, I have my anatomy scan on 11/9 with a perinatologist and they will be looking at the placenta to see if there are any issues at the same time. I honestly don't think I'll be able to take a deep breath until all of that is over and everything is okay. I will update after all that. Until next time! 16 weeks tomorrow!

P.S. I'm attaching a pic of our girl :) and how we announced on facebook. 

Megan J
xoxo

12 week appt and update

Well, everything went great at my 12 week appt last week. Heard the heartbeat for the first time and it was magical. The best sound in the world I have ever heard. My next appt is on November 1st. I still have morning sickness unfortunately (so tired of puking I can't even tell you). Can't believe I'm over 13 weeks now and in the 2nd trimester!! Very happy about that. But I have a little update. And it's somewhat embarrassing but interesting. My hubs and I have not had sex since I found out I was pregnant just because I have a feeling it won't be good. So, we've done other things in the meantime. Well, a couple days ago, I had an orgasm and about 2 minutes after, I started bleeding red a lot. I knew that something wasn't right. I got in the shower and was still bleeding a little bit. I immediately called me doctor and left a message. I was still bleeding and had a hall dollar size clot come out. My doctor just told me to take it easy for the night and come in the next day. If I bled through a pad in an hour, then go to the ER. Well, the bleeding ended up getting less and less thank god and I never had any cramping but my lower back was killing me. So I went in the next day (yesterday) and baby looks great, my cervix looks good but doc did mention that my placenta is on the lower end. So she wants me to go see a perinatologist to have them take a further look to see if my placenta is growing on the lower portion of my uterus. If it is, then I have a condition called placenta previa. Basically, that means that my placenta covers the opening of my cervix and I would not be able to do any strenuous activity or sex. Also, a c-section is definitely what I would have to do. But, I don't want to jump ahead of myself. It's actually pretty normal for the placenta to be low in the early part of pregnancy and usually after 20 weeks it starts moving up. We shall see. I'm only trying to think positive but also preparing myself for the news. I will keep you updated! But, it was a great thing to see baby again since my 8 week appt! He/She was moving around so much and it was the cutest thing ever. I have my gender check ultrasound scheduled for next Sunday and can't wait for that! I'll be 14w4d then so hoping they will be able to find it. 

Until next time,
Megan J xoxo

8 week ultrasound!!

Sorry I've been lagging on posting but I went on vacation for about a week and a half so been super busy. Went in for my 8 week appt on Sep. 1st and saw our baby and it's heartbeat was 167 bpm!! So crazy. But oh so thankful. I am now 10 weeks and morning sickness is in full force (since 6 weeks) and nauseous on and off all day. Food aversions are in full force as well and just feel blah all the time. So tired and no energy. I'm so ready for the 2nd trimester to get here!! Hopefully at my next appt (Sep 29th) we will get good news again! I'll be a little over 12 weeks by then. My new EDD is April 12th, 2017! Went to get my blood work done yesterday so hopefully that's all good. It's definitely starting to sink in now that I'm pregnant and have a baby growing inside of me. Hubby is starting to let it sink in too. But we still are cautious of course and keeping our guards up. We just want this to be our take home baby so bad. We are definitely still thinking positive and just hope for the best.

Well I will update at my next appt!

Our little bean!!!

I can't believe I'm putting this but I have a baby growing inside of me!!! I can't believe it! I'm 6 weeks today and I went in because I had some red bleeding last week and some cramping and with me the usual case is miscarriage. I can't believe this is real...So not out of the woods yet but this is such a huge step for me! I go in on 9/1 for my next ultrasound and I'll be over 8 weeks by then so definitely should see more. The doctor said she sees a sac and she saw a little heartbeat!!! Surreal. I'm so praying and wishing this baby keeps growing and that heart keeps beating!! Please let this be it! I seriously can't take another miscarriage!
xoxo
Megan J

Pregnancy #4

Well here we go again...another BFP..

I took a test on Saturday morning just because I knew it..I've been pregnant 3 times before and it's the same everytime. Crazy.
I didn't even think that I ovulated this month because I had my progesterone tested on Day 21 and it was low. So I called the emergency line at my OB/GYN and the on call doc prescribed me Progesterone for 2 weeks. I had mild cramping on and off on Sat and Sunday, boobies hurt and some spotting which is normal if you are taking progesterone.
I just don't get excited about this stuff anymore. I won't believe it and see that it's real until I see a baby on an ultrasound. I don't look at what my EDD would be unless i'm asked. It just seems like it won't happen. Called my doctor this morning and should be getting my HCG levels drawn soon and probably progesterone too. I'm just waiting until that 6 week mark and I will start bleeding again.
I took another test this morning and the line is not darker than yesterday's so of course I'm thinking "nope this isn't it again..i'll probably be miscarrying soon."

I honestly hate this part...it's not fun for me, it's super stressful and it's never a good outcome. But, there's nothing I can do about it other than what I'm doing now with the progesterone and getting checked. If it's not a healthy baby, then it will be miscarriage #4 and we keep trying..ugh. I'm trying not to think about that but it's inevitable. Well, until next time. Not telling anybody (hubs knows of course) until way later.

7.30 test

7.31 test

8.1 test on bottom-taken 5 min after POAS

Starting Femara today

Well, on to the next thing for us to do. Starting my 1st round of Femara today since it was shown last cycle that I wasn't ovulating (add it to the list). I was given 3 months of the medication so if I don't get pregnant within those 3 months, then I go back to the doctor and go to the next steps. I really hope this is the answer for us. But, as you all know, I'm not holding my breath.

Until next time!

Megan J xoxo

If I got pregnant this cycle....

It would be a Christmas baby! That would be the most amazing gift ever...but, you know how it is for us...4 years and counting of TTC...

Fortune cookies

Got these fortunes last night...hmmmm verrryyyy interesting!

February 5th

So today is a hard funky day for me...2/5/13 I had a D&C for my 1st pregnancy due to a blighted ovum. And today, 2/5/16 would have been my due date with my 2nd pregnancy. I'm not a big fan of this date as you can imagine. And February in general. February of 2012 is when Hubs and I first started TTC. A lot has changed since then, let me tell you. I don't even remember who that person was. 

I had my follow-up HSG yesterday and it looks like I have a partial bicornuate uterus still. I will need to get the results from my doc but that's what it looked like while I was getting it done. It definitely looks WAY better than how it used to look, thats for sure. The procedure also didn't hurt as much as the first one and I'm thinking it has to do with no longer having that septum there. But, just a guess. 

So, as of right now, we will start TTC again and see what happens. I'm a little worried about it but not that much. I don't want to focus on the negative but man, is it hard not to. I'm guessing if there are any issues, I'm thinking if I do get pregnant, that the baby would be breech and I would need a c/s. But, if that's all the issues, I will take it!! LOL.

I will update once I hear from my doc the actual results. Here is a picture I found online of what my uterus looks like kind of. Can't believe it's been 4 years this month since we started TTC. What the hell...

Megan J

 

Happy New Year!

My first blog of 2016! Can't believe it will be 4 YEARS since Hubby and I have started TTC...4 FRICKEN YEARS!! So crazy and to think about it..it's flown and I have changed so much since then...I literally don't remember how it felt to be ignorant and excited for TTC. Ha! 

Well, I wanted to update since my surgery in November. The surgery was successful and we have started TTC this month. I've had 2 cycles since then and I should be ovulating right about now. We haven't necessarily started "trying" but we are just having sex without protection right now. I was supposed to get my HSG scheduled after this cycle started but there were issues with my doc office and my insurance not getting the referral yet blah blah. So, they resent it and now I have approval to get the HSG done which I will have to wait until Day 1 of cycle 3 post surgery. My doctor told me that he thinks I might have a partial bicornuate uterus still but we shall see. He saw on the ultrasound as much as he could and that my uterus looked good and my lining was nice and thick, but the HSG will tell the result of how the resection looks. He said there could be possible complications still with my uterus since there still is a dip. If the baby implants there, the placenta could grow outside the uterus (I forget what he called it) and I would end up having to get a c-section done and possibly might have to have a hysterectomy. But first things first, lets hope that doesn't happen! Hubby and I feel super confident now that we ever have in the past, and we really think 2016 is our year to have a baby (or to be pregnant)! I know that I will still feel super anxious and excited and scared and we pretty much just know that whatever happens, happens. We can only control so much. 

I will update next after the results from my HSG come back. Here's to hoping 2016 is our best year yet!! 

xoxo 
Megan J

 

SURGERY TIME!

Wow, it's been awhile since I've updated but I definitely have some updating!

Since the last time I wrote, I had to get blood work done (my husband and I) and all of it came back normal!! So excited for that. Then, after we got the results from that, my doc said I'm good to go for my septum resection surgery. So, I had to wait for my cycle to start, and it just started on 10/26 so my surgery is scehduled for next week, 11/4!! SO ready to get this done and over with. I can't believe it's in a week! I'm kind of nervous but at the same time, I feel like it will be a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. 

I ended up having a psychic tarot card reading done and it was very helpful and informative. I don't take them too seriously but it made me feel better with our situation. She did mention that I will be pregnant in the first part of 2016 and she see's a boy. She also mentioned that there might be some hard times with my pregnancy but nothing to be worried about. I actually kind of figured that would be the case for me just because of all my other issues. Hubby and I have talked about having just one and done at this point. But, we really don't know what the future holds so we shall see. One child would be amazing at this point for us. 

It's been such a long, rough road and it finally feels like we are on a good path and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Let's hope this is our answer! I will be updating once the surgery is completed!! Wish me luck!

xoxo
Megan J

Miscarriage #3

Well, there you have it...#3. And I pretty much knew it was coming. Same exact symptoms as the last two. And then the spotting at the 6 week mark. And then nothing on the ultrasound. And then more bleeding and cramping. And then miscarrying. Story of my life.

Today, I went to my doctor and he wants me to get more blood work done since it is my 3rd loss. He is concerned that I've had bleeding at 6 weeks in all of my pregnancies. So am I. There might be an antibody that is attacking the fetus or something else going on. He also wants to have my hubs tested for Paternal Karyotype just in case he might be a carrier of something weird too. He wants me to come back in 6 weeks after I've miscarried everything and have healed to go over the results and see what we need to do and go from there. I might not need the septum resection surgery after all if we can't have children. I just can't believe we have this luck. It's just wonderful. I wonder what it's like to just get pregnant and have a happy healthy child? I wouldn't know.

And to make things even better, I am in my friends wedding in October and just found out that 2 of them are pregnant. Yippee. So fucking happy for them. Ugh so shitty.

Well until next update.

3rd time around...Wooowwwwww

Yes, you are seeing that correctly...I am pregnant again! And I'm not too thrilled about it. I'm so scared and just don't know what to think about this. I had my mind set for getting the surgery done and thought there is no way Hubs and I are going to get pregnant. Well, I was wrong. My bb's started hurting on Sunday and didn't think much of it beside the fact that they should have been hurting awhile ago. Then on Monday, they kept hurting and I thought weird. So, I woke up on Tuesday and thought maybe I should take a pregnancy test. Well, here it is. And I'm just not positive about it of course. I'm scared I'm going to miscarry again and probably will. I have my first doc appt with my primary care doc just to get ANOTHER referral to my OB doc. So annoying how HMO's work. I'm thinking I'm about 5 weeks 4 days right now if I go off when I think I ovulated. So who knows. It doesn't really matter. Just expecting to see blood again at the 6w3d mark and look at the ultrasound and not see a baby again. 

Well, I will update when I go for my OB appt or when I will be bleeding. Trying to keep the faith but it's so so hard.

xoxo
Megan J

Time to get the surgery done

So, I went in on Monday to visit the doctor for my uterine septum removal surgery. I'm ready to get this done and move on. They go inside my uterus with a camera (hysteroscopy) and remove the septum part. I'm in and out in a day and it's a couple days of recovery. We have to wait for 3 cycles to start TTC again (more waiting what else is new) and I will need to have an HSG done afterwards to make sure the uterus looks good. Once I start AF, then we can get the surgery scheduled (need to take bcp's first to thin the lining of my uterus first).

And since the last time I wrote, I ended up miscarrying everything at home and didn't need to have a another d&c done thankfully. 

So, on to the next thing and hoping this is the answer for us. I will update once I know more about the surgery date.
xoxo
Megan J

Too good to be true...again

Well, I started miscarrying today. I have heavier cramping and bleeding now and some clots too. I just knew it was too good to be true. I had some spotting and some cramping on Sunday and went to my OB on Monday to find out what's going on and if it's another blighted ovum. The ultrasound didn't really show anything and she was saying that it might be too early. I just knew that it was another blighted ovum at that point. So she said she wanted me to do the HCG bloodwork and come back next week to follow up and see if anything has changed.

Well, early this am, I started cramping BAD and knew that I was going to start bleeding today and sure enough around 1pm, I started bleeding. So defeating. All I can hope for now, is that I won't have to go to hospital from losing too much blood and can miscarry at home. And then I will have to get the septum removal surgery done now.

I'm just so sad. I won't give up but it's so hard not to.

xoxo
Megan J

MRI Results

So yesterday I found out from my OB doc that I have a septate uterus...here's what it looks like

So, my doctor was telling me that I can have surgery to get that part removed and she didn't know that I was pregnant. So after she was telling me all these things, I told her, "um, I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant" and she was like WOW, congratulations! She did tell me that if  the baby implants on the part that comes down, I will have a miscarriage because the baby can't get any nutrients from there. So, I have been thinking positive but also not being naive about the whole thing. I do have a lot of people saying prayers for us right now so all we can do now is wait until  my 8 week appointment and find out then where the baby implanted. 

I go in tomorrow to my primary doc to get a stat referral over to my OB. I do have an ultrasound appt scheduled for 6/15 for my kidneys so I'm kinda hoping that they can take a look at my uterus at the same time? The worst they can say is no.

So I'm keeping my fingers crossed, saying lots and lots of prayers and hoping this is it for us. 

But, I did talk to my Mom last night and she did make me feel better. She said if it doesn't work out and I do end up miscarrying, I have an answer now to our situation and I can get it fixed. 

But, I'm really hoping that doesn't happen. My Hubs and I have already discussed that one kid is perfectly fine with us.

PLEASE PLEASE let this be it!!! I've never wanted anything more in my entire life.

xoxo  
Megan J

2nd time around

Look what I got this morning....

So fucking scared....

So, I just had an MRI done on Friday to check out my uterus shape and I was supposed to start AF Saturday and it didn't come so I tested this morning and this is what I got. I'm terrified right now. I just don't know how to feel or think. I'm scared my body is going to reject this baby again. I'm scared that it's another blighted ovum. I'm scared of getting another ultrasound and nothing. I'M SO SCARED.

I hate this feeling...I'll never have that naive happy feeling about pregnancy again. I just don't want to feel that sadness again.

I'm hoping I can find out tomorrow what the results were from the MRI. If it's bicornuate uterus, then it's going to be scary and high chances of me miscarrying in the 2nd trimester. If it's septate, then there's a chance of it implanting on the bad part and not getting any nutrients and I'll end up miscarrying. I have jury duty tomorrow and I had my first appt scheduled so I'm going to have to reschedule it once I'm done with jury duty....great timing right??

So many thoughts going through my head and it won't stop...I'm trying so hard to think positive and hope that I'll be able to finally hold a baby in my arms...

But I'm not holding my breath.

Please God let this be true and good.

XOXO
Megan J

Update..and can't believe I'm still writing in this blog over 3 years later

Well, here I am, over 3 years later after we first started TTC, and still no baby. It's kind of hard to believe but nope, it's true. It's so weird and totally not how I envisioned my life.

Well anyways, I wanted to update my TTC life. I went to the OB/GYN for my yearly well women's appt last week and talked to my doc about what we should do next. She told me that my hubs sperm is actually normal and they had a meeting with a "sperm" doctor and found out new findings of what "healthy" sperm is and what not. So we can cross that off the list, thank god. Also, she wants me to get an MRI of my uterus to get a final answer if it's a bicornuate uterus or a septate uterus. She also wants me to get an ultrasound done for my kidneys. She told me that if the uterus is shaped differently that sometimes the kidneys are too. So, I need to get those scheduled and find out the results from that. If its a bicornuate like I thought from last year, then we start IUI treatment. It's not going to be covered most likely since it is infertility treatments. They will do it 3 times and if we arent' pregnant after the 3rd time, then the doc will refer me to a fertility specialist and go from there. She did let me know the risks of having BU and the possibility of miscarriage goes way up. Yippee. If my uterus is a septate uterus, then I will need to have the septum ressection surgery and then start IUI treatments. I know it sounds bad, but I'm kinda hoping its a septate uterus because if I did get pregnant, it wouldn't be a higher percentage of having a miscarriage because it would be like a normal uterus. But I just have this feeling that it's bicornuate. I don't know....

So, as of right now, I just need to get the MRI and ultrasound done and find out the results from that and go from there. Hubs and I decided that if we do the IUI treatments and don't get pregnant from that, then that's it for ttc. We will then move on to adoption. I don't want to go through IVF and spend so much money on it. But, I'm jumping ahead as usual, so first things first.

I can't believe I'll be 31 years old in 3 months and still not a Mom. Ho hum....

Until next time,
Megan xoxo