Well, I've been taking a little break from blogging. I'm now on my 4th cycle after my miscarriage and it's been tough. I feel like my life has been put on hold. Ever since I was laid off in February and Hubby hasn't been working since January, it's been really hard to be motivated to do anything. I can't believe it's been almost 5 months since the d&c. I feel like we have been doing everything right but I think there is something going on with one of us. I don't think it should be this hard to get pregnant after mc. I hear all the time how fertile you are after one but I don't think that's the case with us. I found out last week that my friend who has 2 kids already is pregnant. And they weren't expecting it. It's SOOOOO hard to be happy for her but I truly am. I just don't understand why it has to be so hard for us just to have 1?
I feel like it's going down a better path now. Hubby should be starting work soon. He will actually be graduating in September and I am so proud of him. Once he starts working, I want to start my real estate classes and get my license so I can start my career! I need to get my mind off of baby making for awhile and I feel like I can't no matter how hard I try. I see all these pregnant women around me, my friends are pregnant or just having their kids and I have no job right now so my mind is always on trying to conceive, hoping the spermies got to my egg, dreadfully waiting during the two week wait and then AF shows and no baby once again.
My due date is approaching and I've been hoping that I am pregnant again when that time comes but I just have a feeling it's not going to happen. I had my cards read again and it was actually a WAY more detailed reading and said that I will be pregnant in 3-5 months and will have a happy, healthy pregnancy and will have a boy. She predicted a June or July due date. I'm hoping she's right! And kinda wrong and hoping that I get pregnant before that and have a happy, healthy pregnancy.
But, all I can do is have hope and just keep trying. I have come up with a plan if we aren't pregnant by September. I'm going to my OB/GYN and see what are our options. In September, I would like to get acupuncture because I've heard that really helps with fertility. David and I have talked about adoption and if that time comes where I can't hold a pregnancy or get pregnant again, we will look into adoption. I don't think I can spend money on IVF for a "maybe" getting pregnant. And David thinks the same way especially since he is adopted. Maybe that is supposed to be our path? We don't know.
But, either way, I just want to start our family and have a baby and be a Mom. That's all I want.
Until next time,
Megan J
xoxo
