Too good to be true...again

Well, I started miscarrying today. I have heavier cramping and bleeding now and some clots too. I just knew it was too good to be true. I had some spotting and some cramping on Sunday and went to my OB on Monday to find out what's going on and if it's another blighted ovum. The ultrasound didn't really show anything and she was saying that it might be too early. I just knew that it was another blighted ovum at that point. So she said she wanted me to do the HCG bloodwork and come back next week to follow up and see if anything has changed.

Well, early this am, I started cramping BAD and knew that I was going to start bleeding today and sure enough around 1pm, I started bleeding. So defeating. All I can hope for now, is that I won't have to go to hospital from losing too much blood and can miscarry at home. And then I will have to get the septum removal surgery done now.

I'm just so sad. I won't give up but it's so hard not to.

xoxo
Megan J

MRI Results

So yesterday I found out from my OB doc that I have a septate uterus...here's what it looks like

So, my doctor was telling me that I can have surgery to get that part removed and she didn't know that I was pregnant. So after she was telling me all these things, I told her, "um, I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant" and she was like WOW, congratulations! She did tell me that if  the baby implants on the part that comes down, I will have a miscarriage because the baby can't get any nutrients from there. So, I have been thinking positive but also not being naive about the whole thing. I do have a lot of people saying prayers for us right now so all we can do now is wait until  my 8 week appointment and find out then where the baby implanted. 

I go in tomorrow to my primary doc to get a stat referral over to my OB. I do have an ultrasound appt scheduled for 6/15 for my kidneys so I'm kinda hoping that they can take a look at my uterus at the same time? The worst they can say is no.

So I'm keeping my fingers crossed, saying lots and lots of prayers and hoping this is it for us. 

But, I did talk to my Mom last night and she did make me feel better. She said if it doesn't work out and I do end up miscarrying, I have an answer now to our situation and I can get it fixed. 

But, I'm really hoping that doesn't happen. My Hubs and I have already discussed that one kid is perfectly fine with us.

PLEASE PLEASE let this be it!!! I've never wanted anything more in my entire life.

xoxo  
Megan J

2nd time around

Look what I got this morning....

So fucking scared....

So, I just had an MRI done on Friday to check out my uterus shape and I was supposed to start AF Saturday and it didn't come so I tested this morning and this is what I got. I'm terrified right now. I just don't know how to feel or think. I'm scared my body is going to reject this baby again. I'm scared that it's another blighted ovum. I'm scared of getting another ultrasound and nothing. I'M SO SCARED.

I hate this feeling...I'll never have that naive happy feeling about pregnancy again. I just don't want to feel that sadness again.

I'm hoping I can find out tomorrow what the results were from the MRI. If it's bicornuate uterus, then it's going to be scary and high chances of me miscarrying in the 2nd trimester. If it's septate, then there's a chance of it implanting on the bad part and not getting any nutrients and I'll end up miscarrying. I have jury duty tomorrow and I had my first appt scheduled so I'm going to have to reschedule it once I'm done with jury duty....great timing right??

So many thoughts going through my head and it won't stop...I'm trying so hard to think positive and hope that I'll be able to finally hold a baby in my arms...

But I'm not holding my breath.

Please God let this be true and good.

XOXO
Megan J