Wow it's been a few months since I've last written an entry! Kind of taking a break for awhile from TTC. Well I wanted to give a little update on what has been going on for us. Last week, Hubs and I decided it was time for us to take the next steps and get the sperm analysis test done and the HSG test done for me. Hubs went in on Monday and we found out his results. He has really good numbers except for his morphology which is how it was last time. It was at 5% and the normal is anything above 14%. Not sure how that can get any better. Then, I had my HSG test on Friday and found out I have whats called a Bicornuate Uterus which basically means I have a heart shaped uterus. The doctor who did the test said that it's not horrible news but it's not the best either. My tubes were clear which was a good sign. I did some of my own research when I got home of course and found out different stories with a BU. Most of them do say you are high risk and women tend to miscarry in the 2nd trimester. BUT, I'm not going to let this get to me. It's definitely bittersweet. It's nice to know that there is something that's going on for both of us but at the same time, I wish we both had no issues and could get pregnant without any problems. But, that wasn't the hand that was dealt to us and we just have to accept that. There's nothing we can do about it now.
So, now I'm just waiting for my OB's office to call me and set up an appointment with my doctor to go over our results and see what our next steps are. I have so many feelings going on in my head right now and just don't know what to do. There's a part of me that is now super scared to get pregnant. I don't want to have to go through another miscarriage ESPECIALLY if it is in the 2nd trimester. Absolutely terrifies me. Then, there's another part of me that thinks everything will be okay if I do get pregnant. Tons of women get pregnant with a BU and deliver a full term baby with no issues. They just have to be monitored more often and are considered "high risk". Then, there's another part of me that thinks, maybe we are meant to adopt? Maybe that's our calling! I have a weird uterus, Hubs has weird sperm, maybe it's not meant to be that I get pregnant. I just don't know. So many emotions that I'm feeling and so much to take in right now. I guess once we see my doctor and get the next steps, we can make more of a decision on the route we want to take in regards to having children.
We told my Mom and both of his parents about our situation. We definitely get the understanding from his side because my husband is adopted and his parents went through the exact same thing. So they totally get what we are going through right now. But, my Mom has a different approach. She made a joke when I first told her about my uterus that I was a big freak. Say what?? She said she was just kidding but that really hurt my feelings. I just got news that isn't that great and you make a joke like that? Thanks Mom. And I know it's just her way of taking the news and not really knowing what to say to me. I mean, she has no idea what I'm going through right now. She got pregnant no problem with me at 21 years old. And then she got pregnant when I was 5 or 6 and had an abortion. And here I am, almost 30 years old, and having all the issues I do. I just wish my Mom was more sensitive to how frustrating infertility is and just be there for me. I mean, she did end up saying better things later but it still is a let down that my Mom is so insensitive about the situation. But, nothing I can do about it!
So, to end, I will update once we see my doctor and get more answers. Until then!
XOXO
Megan
