First appointment

So, my first appointment went great. It was with my general practitioner (and who used to be an OB doctor but I guess isn't anymore....kinda bummed). Hubby came with me which made me happy. Appointment went great! I love my doctor. She is so cool and is just a real person and answers all of your questions without making you feel stupid for asking. Told her I took 5 pregnancy tests and she said it sounds like you're pregnant! She gave me a referral for an OB doctor and some blood work that needed to get done and that was it. She said in February I will be able to hear the heartbeat! So exciting!! Went in for my bloodwork today too so I could get that over with. My first OB appointment is 1/10/13 and I will be a little over 7 weeks by then so hopefully I get to see an ultrasound by then!!

So far, the only symptoms I feel are fatigue, boobies hurting and slight cramping here and there. I got sick with a cold on Christmas night so I've been home from work for the past few days. Need my rest!! It sucks because I haven't been able to sleep that well for the past week and I'm thinking it was anxiousness and then being sick too. Hopefully, I can sleep now!! No nausea yet. Been eating pretty normal but I heard nausea comes in around 6 weeks or so. We shall see!!

Ordered a bunch of books and my mother in law got me What to Expect when you're expecting which was nice!! Can't wait til all the books come in! I got baby book, pregnancy guide, jenny mccarthy's book, expectant father and some other ones! Hubby and I have already talked about names and how we are going to decorate the baby's room. It feels so unreal. It hit me a little bit more today but until I see the baby inside of me and that heartbeat, I think it will finally hit me :)

XOXO

MJ :)

Couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present!!

I finally got those 2 pink lines!!! YAY!! I can't believe it!! I feel so blessed and am still in shock!


I found out on Thursday morning around 645am and couldn't believe it. I took 3 tests just to make sure and they were all positive. It is so weird that to say "I'm pregnant!!". But, man do I love saying it!!

I've told the hubs, my mom, my co-workers, and hubs parents. It's pretty crazy timing since we will be seeing all of the fam for the holidays. I've decided to tell our families because if something bad does happen in the future, I know they will be there for me and support me. It just makes me think if I do miscarry, I can GET pregnant which is a huge deal for me. I'm so happy!!!

So, when I took the test, my hubs already left for work, so I kept it from him all day! It was so excruciating! I told the girls at work and they were screaming and so happy for me. Remember my last post about my co-worker getting pregnant? Well, we are such good friends now and I have been there for her since the beginning and we are so close even more now!! God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he? So, I got home around 530pm on Thursday and was thinking of a good way to tell the hubs. So, I wrapped the 2 pregnancy tests in christmas wrapping paper and put it in a bag. Gave it to him and said "I want to give you an early Christmas present. You need it for Christmas eve!" haha. His face was so funny. So, he started unwrapping it and it fell out into the bag and he said "Is it a knife?" Wow. That's my husband! So, he looked at them closer and noticed what it was. He was in shock too and had the biggest smile on his face and we hugged for 5 minutes straight. Hehe

My mom freaked out too of course and we told Hubs parents through Skype and they were super happy too. I am so excited now to read some books, and just be pregnant! My first doctor's appt is next Friday so I will be 5 1/2 weeks then. Will update you then!! :) :) :)

SO SO HAPPY!!! 

Venting time!!

Okay, so I've been wanting to write this blog post for the past 2 days. Since my hubby and I have been trying to conceive, everytime I start my period, I get down for a day or so and then it goes away and I start getting excited again. Well, this time is a little different. I just found out one of my co-workers is pregnant. And she wasn't super happy about it which is even worse. It was so hard to keep in how I felt at that moment. I wanted to cry. I felt happy for her but her whole reaction was "stressed" and "grumpy". I've been wanting a baby for 8 cycles now and it's just not happening right now. For some reason, I'm not getting pregnant. It hurts a lot. I know a lot of other women have it worse than me right now and they have been trying for years and nothing. It just makes me want a baby that much more!!! I've been in a funk for the past couple days because of this and I wish I wasn't. I talked to my mom and she totally made me feel better and can understand why I was upset and sad. My hubby understood too but he always tells me to think positive and don't let it get you down. Everything is meant to be and you will be pregnant. I know that's what I need to hear but right now I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!!!! What if I don't get pregnant? What if something is wrong with me? I don't know if I will get pregnant right now and it absolutely TERRIFIES me. I just don't understand, why me? Why can't I get pregnant right away? Oh yeah, that's right. Because I WANT to be a mom and be pregnant and enjoy being pregnant and ready to start a family. 

I've decided to get my cards read just to get some answers maybe. I know they won't tell me "yes" or "no" answers but maybe point me in the right direction. I told my hubby last night I want to go places, go on roller coasters, have fun and not think about getting pregnant anymore. I feel like it's taking over my mind and I can't get it out. No matter how hard I try it just won't leave. Everyone says, "Don't think about it Megan it will come trust me". I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT! EASIER SAID THAN DONE!!! How do women that want to have a child just stop thinking about it? They don't. So I think going on mini vacations, going to amusement parks or anything will help. Sitting at home is not the way to go. It just starts festering in my mind even more and makes me go crazy. Every time hubby and I DTD, I automatically start thinking, "come on sperm lets go!!!". Get that egg!! EVERY SINGLE TIME.

So, my mom sent me this daily prayer that I think is going to help me every day. I have to read it every day and just live my life. Negativity is not escaping my brain at the moment and every time I start to think positive, those evil thoughts come creeping back into my mind again. WHY? Sometimes I wish I wasn't so emotional. But, that will never change. I will always be emotional no matter what. I need to put it out in the universe that I will get pregnant when I'm supposed to get pregnant. And just let it go. Put it out there every single day and then move on. PLEASE.

So, this is the email that my mom sent me last night. I love her so much and the time that I needed her, she was there for me and that me so happy. 

**Today I will allow myself to be surprised by God.  I will invite and welcome the miracles which are so effortless to the divine mind.

I will be open to the greatness and generosity, to the unparalleled imagination.

I will respond with gratitude and dwell in the light of wonder.

Keep this.  Print it.  Write it down.  Say it every day.  You may notice some changes. 

I love you.

Mom

Maybe one day I will get to know the feeling of seeing those 2 pink lines on that test, know the feeling of seeing a heartbeat on the monitor, of feeling those first kicks in my belly and last but not least, get to look into my beautiful baby's eyes and know that it's a part of me forever. 

xoxo

MJ :)

Thinking this is going to be a loooonngg process

I am not as down as I was last time (which is weird). My cycle was 35 days again this time. I thought for sure this month was it. Felt a little bit different but I'm so tired of trying to think "maybe this is how pregnancy feels??" I was talking to my co-workers yesterday and today and they are so excited for me and are keeping me in their thoughts. They know I want this pregnancy and today I finally realized it's going to be a long journey for me. I'm on the fence about taking ovulation tests. I do like knowing when I ovulate and it does make calculating my cycles and when I should take a pregnancy test a lot easier. This cycle, I didn't really know when i ovulated, when I was going to start my period and if I should wait to take a pregnancy test. Since my cycles are so screwy, I've decided I'm going to go back to taking ovulation tests BUT I'm not telling my hubby when. It stresses him out too much and doesn't perform as well as normal. Well, on to the 8th cycle. We are attending one of our friend's wedding next weekend and I'm getting drunk!!  LOL. I'm trying not to think this way but I'm thinking I will need to make a call to a doctor soon. I'm hoping that I don't. 

xoxo

MJ :)

Still not my time

On to the 7th cycle. Yay. So excited. Ready to throw this computer out the window right now. If I only knew it would be this hard to get pregnant and I would have started a LOOONNGGGG time ago. Whatever. I'm pissed and tired. Good Night.

MJ :(

Yep you guessed it...Cycle #6

Aaaahhhhh....well, I thought for some reason, this would be the cycle we would get pregnant. WRONG!!! AF started this morning and this time, it really upset me. We DTD so much this last cycle and I finally found out the day I ovulated and was so proud of myself and we DTD that night and thought "I have a good feeling this month!!". WRONG. I'm sooo tired today and I know we are pretty much just starting on this journey and the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to get my cycle (kinda) and what it looks like when I ovulate. This cycle I ovulated on the 22nd day. Pretty late, so this cycle was 35 days long. Longest yet. So, for now, my average is 30 days for my cycle. We did the SMEP plan at CD8 and then my hubby got sick around July 4th so we stopped for a few days and I guessed that's what did it. Booooo.....

So, on to the next cycle!! Hopefully, hubby stays healthy this time and so do I. I like the SMEP plan because I feel like that plan works more. We will use Pre-Seed right around ovulation this time too. Trying to think positive and keep my head up!! I just keep thinking "It's just not my time yet." 

New HEDD is 04/30/2013!!

xo

MJ :)

NEXT......

Yep, on to the next cycle!!!

So, I started  my period on Sunday, June 17th. 28 days this time. So weird. I think my body is trying to play catch up and get back to normal for sure this time. This cycle, hubby and I will be trying the SMEP plan (which is the sperm meets egg plan). Basically, after my period ends, we will be having sex every other day until I start my next period. I told hubby that on Monday and he was like, and that is a problem??. So great! I'm kinda excited to see what happens this cycle. I know we will be extremely exhausted and pooped, but hoping that this method will work. This last cycle, I wasn't sure how long my cycle was going to be so I wasn't sure when I ovulated. So, I bought more OPK tests and will start taking them on CD7 and just go from there. Wish me luck!! New HEDD is 3/24/2013!!

xoxo

MJ :)

Cycle #4- 2 days early

Well, here I am again. Here to say AF started this morning 2 days early. Had a 32 day cycle this time. So far I've had 26, 34 now 32. Interesting. Well, like I've said in the past, I'm just glad I'm on a normalish cycle again. This will be my 4th period in a row. That's the most since I don't remember when. That feels good. I know it's crazy that I'm happy my period started. But, I would be way depressed if I didn't have one and I wasn't pregnant. Bigger deal. I've had a couple weird dreams the past couple of nights. I had my first pregnancy dream on Saturday night! I gave birth to a girl and was holding her in my arms. She had 1 blue eye and 1 green eye. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And it was part of me. Never had a dream like that before and it definitely put a different perspective on everything. Trying to get pregnant is hard and I now once I see our beautiful baby, it will all be worth it.

Last night, I had a dream about my Granny. Been thinking about her lately. Wishing she was still here at times. In my dream, I was sitting on the couch and a bunch of my family started walking up our walkway and knocked on the door. They all came in and were so happy and my Granny was there. It was like she has been here this whole time. I gave her a hug and she liked where I hung up one of wedding pictures on the wall. And that was the end of my dream. I know she is still watching over me. I miss her so much.

Anyways, one to the next cycle!! Will be trying some new things this time so we shall see! KMFX!!

Until next time,

MJ :)

OPK tests

So, I'm on my 17th day of my cycle and I have been taking OPK tests since CD8. Wow...I never knew how difficult it would be TTC!!! I wasn't sure how long this cycle was going to be for me since last one was 34 days and one before that was 26 days. So, I figured some place in the middle (30 days) this time. Well, took an OPK test this morning on the 17th day and the 2nd line is definitely darker than it normally has been. No, it's not as dark or darker than the first line but I feel like I'm getting close!! Yesterday, my lower back was kinda hurting and started to feel a little crampy (which is how I normally feel when I'm going to ovulate or start my period....hmmm). This whole process is so draining and I don't know how women do it for so long. I know after awhile, I would be needing a break. Oh yeah, update on taking the Fertility test. I'm fertile!! That made me very happy. Something that's good! My hubby and I have been DTD since Friday so hopefully we get some good news soon. KMFX. xoxo

MJ :)

3rd cycle!!!

Well,, I'm here to say I started my period on Saturday....34 days this time. Weird. I'm just happy I've had my period for 3 months in a row!! That's amazing for me and really does make me happy ( I mean I would be happier if I was pregnant but you know how that goes). Today, I bought First Response Fertility Tests and decided the best thing for me is to make sure I'm fertile first. I'm going to take it first thing tomorrow morning so we shall see! Hoping everything ends up okay. Thinking positive! Will keep you updated and maybe 3rd times a charm?!?!? :)

xoxo

MJ

TTC will always be a mystery to me

Sorry it's been awhile since I've written in here...trying not to think about it so much and thinking that might help!

So, last time I wrote, I started my period on March 18th (2 days early) and was kinda bummed but happy I started my period. Well, this cycle was different from the first. I bought 12 OPK tests from Dollar Tree and used 6 of them (all were negative..1 was kinda positive not sure though). So, that kinda brought me down and wasn't sure if I was doing it right so we pretty much just had sex following the ovulation calendar. Well, last cycle was 26 days. I am now on day 30 and Sunday night, yesterday morning and night had some serious cramps like I was going to start my period (so bad last night I kept waking up from them..haven't had that in awhile). So, I totally figured I would have started my period by now. Nope...but, I took a pregnancy test last night and it was BFN. So, who knows?? One thing I did notice that's different with this cycle are my BB's aren't sore like they normally are when I'm about to start my period. So weird. Charting your cycle is so ridiculous. I just want it to be easy, damn it!! But, I know it won't be and I've prepared myself for that. Thinking positive all the time now and just going with the flow. So, I'm thinking if I don't start my period by Friday, I will take another test. If it's a BFP, time to go see OB/GYN!!! I just switched to a new doctor (since my last one was a joke) so we shall see. I will keep you updated! Until next time. xoxo

MJ :)

Bittersweet

Well, I started my period today (2 days early). I thought at first it was implantation spotting but I read up on it this morning and it seemed like maybe this morning but as the day progressed I realized it's not.
Bummer! But, at the same time, I'm glad my cycle is somewhat back to regular. And we can start again! My best friend Amy is having her baby any minute now so super excited for her and can't wait to meet her little guy! Well, nothing much more I want to say. A little sad but I know that we are just getting started. Until next time :)

2WW

I know all you TTC (trying to conceive) ladies out there know the 2WW (2 week waiting period) means. Absolute torture. I'm on my last week of waiting and Wow I never thought I would be such a nervous wreck!! I'm going crazy!! I want to know if I'm pregnant, man! What do ladies do right now to get their mind off it? I'm trying to do other stuff to not think about it so much, but everything I do, it leads right back to being pregnant. I was going to wait until next week to write in my blog but I had to let this out! Well, only 6 more days till my period is supposed to start. BUT...I'm waiting til Friday to take the test just to be sure. Some signs I've felt since ovulation...my boobies hurt way worse than when I'm going to start my period. They started hurting since a week ago. I've had a weird, numb pain on my right side and lower abdomen (kinda like cramps but different). I've had 2 headaches in 2 days. BUT...I seriously don't want to get my hopes up. I'm thinking I'm getting headaches just because I'm tired from daylight savings time. I'm probably overreacting from the boobies and cramps. I just want to know!! I need to figure something to do to get my mind off it. My friends are coming down this weekend for St. Patty's Day so that will be good! Well, until next time! Wish me luck!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

xoxo

MJ :)

Just Starting!!

Yay!! My 1st blog post!

Today is March 1st. Wow, I can't believe it's been almost 6 months since I've been married! Craziness! It's amazing to me how much preparation goes into a wedding and then it's all over. Buh-bye. Now, you're married and done. I love it though, let me tell you. I just feel good being married to such a amazing man. Okay, no more wedding talk.

I've started this blog for 1 thing only....getting pregnant and what comes with it.

When I was younger, I remember being so scared of getting pregnant and what I was going to do if I did. I was very careful when I was young and never had a OOPS moment. I was on birth control for 8 years and it was fine at some points but not so great at other times.

Now, here I am, 27 years old and ready to start a family! So, my husband and I stopped using protection right after the wedding. We've heard from so many other couples that it takes awhile for you to get pregnant when you are trying. That just annoys me. When people are ready to have children, it takes them such a long time and so many treatments and testing for ovulation blah blah. But, when you are not ready, it happens. WHY?? I'll never understand.

So, I've had some issues with my period ever since I stopped taking birth control when I was 22. Very irregular and annoying. But, I didn't care when I was that age. It was actually pretty cool  not getting a period that much. YES!!

Well, now that I'm ready to have kids, not so cool. It's extremely stressful having to find out when you are ovulating and what your temperature is when you first wake up. I never in a million years thought it would be like this.

But, it got me to thinking (and why I started this blog). All of the hard work and books that I have read will have payed off in the end! I feel there's a reason for everything. Try to think positive and not worry so much about anything really. It will be fine.

Yeah, that's what I try and tell myself. Some days, it works great. Other days, I get pretty depressed about it. It is what it is. Ha another annoying phrase.

Well, to end the blog, this is our first cycle of us trying to get pregnant. I'm ovulating from now until next week so wish me luck! I've heard it takes about 3-6 cycles to get pregnant, but we shall see. And I've heard sex for baby making purposes is so much fun too. Ha. Fun times ahead!!

P.S. Im sick right now too so that is just the icing on the cake. This pic is pretty much how I feel right now. Ugh.

Thanks for reading!
MJ :)