First appointment

So, my first appointment went great. It was with my general practitioner (and who used to be an OB doctor but I guess isn't anymore....kinda bummed). Hubby came with me which made me happy. Appointment went great! I love my doctor. She is so cool and is just a real person and answers all of your questions without making you feel stupid for asking. Told her I took 5 pregnancy tests and she said it sounds like you're pregnant! She gave me a referral for an OB doctor and some blood work that needed to get done and that was it. She said in February I will be able to hear the heartbeat! So exciting!! Went in for my bloodwork today too so I could get that over with. My first OB appointment is 1/10/13 and I will be a little over 7 weeks by then so hopefully I get to see an ultrasound by then!!

So far, the only symptoms I feel are fatigue, boobies hurting and slight cramping here and there. I got sick with a cold on Christmas night so I've been home from work for the past few days. Need my rest!! It sucks because I haven't been able to sleep that well for the past week and I'm thinking it was anxiousness and then being sick too. Hopefully, I can sleep now!! No nausea yet. Been eating pretty normal but I heard nausea comes in around 6 weeks or so. We shall see!!

Ordered a bunch of books and my mother in law got me What to Expect when you're expecting which was nice!! Can't wait til all the books come in! I got baby book, pregnancy guide, jenny mccarthy's book, expectant father and some other ones! Hubby and I have already talked about names and how we are going to decorate the baby's room. It feels so unreal. It hit me a little bit more today but until I see the baby inside of me and that heartbeat, I think it will finally hit me :)

XOXO

MJ :)

Couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present!!

I finally got those 2 pink lines!!! YAY!! I can't believe it!! I feel so blessed and am still in shock!


I found out on Thursday morning around 645am and couldn't believe it. I took 3 tests just to make sure and they were all positive. It is so weird that to say "I'm pregnant!!". But, man do I love saying it!!

I've told the hubs, my mom, my co-workers, and hubs parents. It's pretty crazy timing since we will be seeing all of the fam for the holidays. I've decided to tell our families because if something bad does happen in the future, I know they will be there for me and support me. It just makes me think if I do miscarry, I can GET pregnant which is a huge deal for me. I'm so happy!!!

So, when I took the test, my hubs already left for work, so I kept it from him all day! It was so excruciating! I told the girls at work and they were screaming and so happy for me. Remember my last post about my co-worker getting pregnant? Well, we are such good friends now and I have been there for her since the beginning and we are so close even more now!! God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he? So, I got home around 530pm on Thursday and was thinking of a good way to tell the hubs. So, I wrapped the 2 pregnancy tests in christmas wrapping paper and put it in a bag. Gave it to him and said "I want to give you an early Christmas present. You need it for Christmas eve!" haha. His face was so funny. So, he started unwrapping it and it fell out into the bag and he said "Is it a knife?" Wow. That's my husband! So, he looked at them closer and noticed what it was. He was in shock too and had the biggest smile on his face and we hugged for 5 minutes straight. Hehe

My mom freaked out too of course and we told Hubs parents through Skype and they were super happy too. I am so excited now to read some books, and just be pregnant! My first doctor's appt is next Friday so I will be 5 1/2 weeks then. Will update you then!! :) :) :)

SO SO HAPPY!!! 

Venting time!!

Okay, so I've been wanting to write this blog post for the past 2 days. Since my hubby and I have been trying to conceive, everytime I start my period, I get down for a day or so and then it goes away and I start getting excited again. Well, this time is a little different. I just found out one of my co-workers is pregnant. And she wasn't super happy about it which is even worse. It was so hard to keep in how I felt at that moment. I wanted to cry. I felt happy for her but her whole reaction was "stressed" and "grumpy". I've been wanting a baby for 8 cycles now and it's just not happening right now. For some reason, I'm not getting pregnant. It hurts a lot. I know a lot of other women have it worse than me right now and they have been trying for years and nothing. It just makes me want a baby that much more!!! I've been in a funk for the past couple days because of this and I wish I wasn't. I talked to my mom and she totally made me feel better and can understand why I was upset and sad. My hubby understood too but he always tells me to think positive and don't let it get you down. Everything is meant to be and you will be pregnant. I know that's what I need to hear but right now I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!!!! What if I don't get pregnant? What if something is wrong with me? I don't know if I will get pregnant right now and it absolutely TERRIFIES me. I just don't understand, why me? Why can't I get pregnant right away? Oh yeah, that's right. Because I WANT to be a mom and be pregnant and enjoy being pregnant and ready to start a family. 

I've decided to get my cards read just to get some answers maybe. I know they won't tell me "yes" or "no" answers but maybe point me in the right direction. I told my hubby last night I want to go places, go on roller coasters, have fun and not think about getting pregnant anymore. I feel like it's taking over my mind and I can't get it out. No matter how hard I try it just won't leave. Everyone says, "Don't think about it Megan it will come trust me". I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT! EASIER SAID THAN DONE!!! How do women that want to have a child just stop thinking about it? They don't. So I think going on mini vacations, going to amusement parks or anything will help. Sitting at home is not the way to go. It just starts festering in my mind even more and makes me go crazy. Every time hubby and I DTD, I automatically start thinking, "come on sperm lets go!!!". Get that egg!! EVERY SINGLE TIME.

So, my mom sent me this daily prayer that I think is going to help me every day. I have to read it every day and just live my life. Negativity is not escaping my brain at the moment and every time I start to think positive, those evil thoughts come creeping back into my mind again. WHY? Sometimes I wish I wasn't so emotional. But, that will never change. I will always be emotional no matter what. I need to put it out in the universe that I will get pregnant when I'm supposed to get pregnant. And just let it go. Put it out there every single day and then move on. PLEASE.

So, this is the email that my mom sent me last night. I love her so much and the time that I needed her, she was there for me and that me so happy. 

**Today I will allow myself to be surprised by God.  I will invite and welcome the miracles which are so effortless to the divine mind.

I will be open to the greatness and generosity, to the unparalleled imagination.

I will respond with gratitude and dwell in the light of wonder.

Keep this.  Print it.  Write it down.  Say it every day.  You may notice some changes. 

I love you.

Mom

Maybe one day I will get to know the feeling of seeing those 2 pink lines on that test, know the feeling of seeing a heartbeat on the monitor, of feeling those first kicks in my belly and last but not least, get to look into my beautiful baby's eyes and know that it's a part of me forever. 

xoxo

MJ :)

Thinking this is going to be a loooonngg process

I am not as down as I was last time (which is weird). My cycle was 35 days again this time. I thought for sure this month was it. Felt a little bit different but I'm so tired of trying to think "maybe this is how pregnancy feels??" I was talking to my co-workers yesterday and today and they are so excited for me and are keeping me in their thoughts. They know I want this pregnancy and today I finally realized it's going to be a long journey for me. I'm on the fence about taking ovulation tests. I do like knowing when I ovulate and it does make calculating my cycles and when I should take a pregnancy test a lot easier. This cycle, I didn't really know when i ovulated, when I was going to start my period and if I should wait to take a pregnancy test. Since my cycles are so screwy, I've decided I'm going to go back to taking ovulation tests BUT I'm not telling my hubby when. It stresses him out too much and doesn't perform as well as normal. Well, on to the 8th cycle. We are attending one of our friend's wedding next weekend and I'm getting drunk!!  LOL. I'm trying not to think this way but I'm thinking I will need to make a call to a doctor soon. I'm hoping that I don't. 

xoxo

MJ :)

Still not my time

On to the 7th cycle. Yay. So excited. Ready to throw this computer out the window right now. If I only knew it would be this hard to get pregnant and I would have started a LOOONNGGGG time ago. Whatever. I'm pissed and tired. Good Night.

MJ :(

Yep you guessed it...Cycle #6

Aaaahhhhh....well, I thought for some reason, this would be the cycle we would get pregnant. WRONG!!! AF started this morning and this time, it really upset me. We DTD so much this last cycle and I finally found out the day I ovulated and was so proud of myself and we DTD that night and thought "I have a good feeling this month!!". WRONG. I'm sooo tired today and I know we are pretty much just starting on this journey and the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to get my cycle (kinda) and what it looks like when I ovulate. This cycle I ovulated on the 22nd day. Pretty late, so this cycle was 35 days long. Longest yet. So, for now, my average is 30 days for my cycle. We did the SMEP plan at CD8 and then my hubby got sick around July 4th so we stopped for a few days and I guessed that's what did it. Booooo.....

So, on to the next cycle!! Hopefully, hubby stays healthy this time and so do I. I like the SMEP plan because I feel like that plan works more. We will use Pre-Seed right around ovulation this time too. Trying to think positive and keep my head up!! I just keep thinking "It's just not my time yet." 

New HEDD is 04/30/2013!!

xo

MJ :)

NEXT......

Yep, on to the next cycle!!!

So, I started  my period on Sunday, June 17th. 28 days this time. So weird. I think my body is trying to play catch up and get back to normal for sure this time. This cycle, hubby and I will be trying the SMEP plan (which is the sperm meets egg plan). Basically, after my period ends, we will be having sex every other day until I start my next period. I told hubby that on Monday and he was like, and that is a problem??. So great! I'm kinda excited to see what happens this cycle. I know we will be extremely exhausted and pooped, but hoping that this method will work. This last cycle, I wasn't sure how long my cycle was going to be so I wasn't sure when I ovulated. So, I bought more OPK tests and will start taking them on CD7 and just go from there. Wish me luck!! New HEDD is 3/24/2013!!

xoxo

MJ :)