2nd time around

Look what I got this morning....

So fucking scared....

So, I just had an MRI done on Friday to check out my uterus shape and I was supposed to start AF Saturday and it didn't come so I tested this morning and this is what I got. I'm terrified right now. I just don't know how to feel or think. I'm scared my body is going to reject this baby again. I'm scared that it's another blighted ovum. I'm scared of getting another ultrasound and nothing. I'M SO SCARED.

I hate this feeling...I'll never have that naive happy feeling about pregnancy again. I just don't want to feel that sadness again.

I'm hoping I can find out tomorrow what the results were from the MRI. If it's bicornuate uterus, then it's going to be scary and high chances of me miscarrying in the 2nd trimester. If it's septate, then there's a chance of it implanting on the bad part and not getting any nutrients and I'll end up miscarrying. I have jury duty tomorrow and I had my first appt scheduled so I'm going to have to reschedule it once I'm done with jury duty....great timing right??

So many thoughts going through my head and it won't stop...I'm trying so hard to think positive and hope that I'll be able to finally hold a baby in my arms...

But I'm not holding my breath.

Please God let this be true and good.

XOXO
Megan J